first step...

well.today i have done it
what?
i dare to buy a ticket without telling my parents
they didn't say anything
but i think they feel down
yesterday night my mom
like want to say something but not that direct
as i know
recently there are flu around the world
i know she worry
if i do go kl alone
she scare may get the flu easily
since she think that home i the best location to protect the whole family.
but then i bought it..
although i don't it is what seat
I'll go tomorrow..
by the way
i think i need to call the service center
because i don't know
this train seat is it with air cond or not
oh my god
please don't tell me
i have to spend several hours with polluted air
ten ringgit seat to buy an experience
i think it worth.

Go or NoT go? p:)

i plan to go kl next Tuesday 28th April
this is my first time to kl alone
i know this should be no problem
just go the train counter
and say
uncle ,i want a ticket to kepong central..
but don't know why
i got a feeling very weird
want to go or not
keep on asking myself
it automatically appear in my mind
i start to think is it i really not enough independent?
i think so
in fact i need to go on Tuesday
i got no choice
because i have promise my friends
i should not have any problems with that
i already 19
i think it is considered not teenager anymore
i am adult
i should can make decision
but i am that kind of person
can't make decision
from that time choose matriculation
want accounting or science?
until go in study..
want usm or not?
should i take the test?
all these have to depend on my parents
my friend siew chong have applied for usm
but he is so confident with himself
then he decide not to take the test
but i just like a children under my mother's skirt
need to ask
need my parents
need my cousin
need opinion from everyone
finally also i can't make the decision
until my dad make a decision
call me don't go for the test
then only i can decide what to do
this is very bad
i want to take accounting or business course
but as we know
next time when we come out
we are the team
we are the one who
need to take the post to manage the whole company
even a small unit or department
all needs decision
if i continue to be like that
who will i be next time?
this is a very simple need to success in business.
i don't know the answer,
because i still can't make decision.
all these, i think
i got no confidence.
hope so time will change somebody
as well as bring me up
always believe in myself
with certain limit,
at least able to make simple decision.

you are the door for my future pathway

one year time is just like a blink of eyes, i left my college.
initially when i was chosen for the programme,
i am so happy until i can't sleep
because my result was not that good..
when i move in to study,
i face problems.
my friends inside are all very excellent and intelligent,
they are cope with their studies,
but i am vice verse.
i can't follow the syllabus
especially economics..
i choose arts
because i got interest with it
but then i realise interest not necessary equal to ability.
during the end of semester one lecturer arrange poor student to another room
for special teaching
i am the only non bumi being chosen
well,that time
it's really a hard feeling.
fortunately, i got many friends around me
we not only classmate
we not only normal friends
we even roommates
and also like brothers
matriculation is a very good programme,
although i can't get four flat,
i know many people
no wonder girls or boys
i appreciate that
from the day i step out of kmpk,
i look back,
i see everything
every building
every smiling
when we are enjoying
when we are playing
lecturer
even auntie cleaner...
suddenly all playback in my mind
I'll always u
my dear college..
kmpk
08/09