um life

the first time i get um
it is a very happy news
my life i got confident will be very happy
very excited...very enjoyable...
first week
i step into college kinabalu
this should be a good start
but in fact, is it?
i actually satisfied with the room
i got a good roommate
his name is amir
i am so glad to know him
then coming is another roommate
which i never expect to be same room with him
he is david
one of the respected senior last time secondary
i feel that i am suffering
who am i now?
i lost myself
i go no direction
everything is so blur here...
is it because i homesick?
or is because my personal behaviour problem?
i realise i was being repelled
i know nobody here
and i know the way i speak and make friends maybe is wrong
anyone can tell me
where is the ME last time
my strong part is socialise
why i lost all here
how can?
i can't accept
now i hate myself
keep on thinking negatively
that day i alone back hostel
i feel like this world is neglecting me
why everybody also wit friends
but i am alone
why?
it is unfair...
i hate this feeling...
sucks feeling'
i got think to buy cigarette from my friend
i think that can hep me calm down
i am so tension
i scare i will crazy
everything going so Moody...
the sky today is cloudy
i hate such situation
again i am alone
i hate this feeling
god...is it the challenge you give me?
but i start to be can't stand...
i know i am st
i feel i am suff