very fast..

me and j
well
it is too fast
i have to admit that i always lacks of one thing
CONFIDENT..
this time looks like a good start but who knows
this will be a night mare
once i ake up one day
suddenly all will disappear..
he mom didn't give her pocket money
life for her is like very suffer
sincerely i can't understand why a mother don't want to give
her daughter pocket money
already 18 somemore
i feel her sadness
i think she is worrying about money problem
just now accidentally touch with money this sensitive issue
i know she very mind i say like that
well
i just promise
i wouldn't do it again..
actually i also jobless
i still a student
i also use my parents money
i can't imagine one day i without money
j now i think she can't even solve meal problem...
in long term...
no wonder she want to work...
i listen she only eat bread
i got a hard feeling
i am failed
why i can't even buy food for her?
i really scared
that time i was having dinner with my parents
i can't go out
but while i am enjoying my dinner..
she just eating bread..
am i bad?
i think so....
i hope she will not read this because
i don't want her to know my personality
which is so bad..
i am very stingy
i never buy things
i never spend my own money
seldom
that's why i seldom go shopping..
go shopping complex is just window mode
i feel myself very lucky
can know her
i finally understand different family got their own problem
that day her mom forget buy food for her
then she like dislike her mother like that
her mother somemore go say something bad with her grandma
all these have create a war among them
maybe i really too stupid
i don't understand why she can quarrel until like that
as i think is small matter..
but for her is a big matter
i need time to understand her
hope so my effort will bring back profit even revenue
people say u put seed sure can get flower
but without the essential watering process..
the flower takes a long time to grow...
i want to add more water..
just for j..