数到五答应我

还记得我们这对小情侣
还挺奇怪的
去到k房去拍拖
寻寻觅觅中
很想唱那首歌给她听
曹格的-数到五答应我
那首歌真的听百遍也不会觉得腻。
只是知道
当我常给她听时
她那感动，水汪汪的眼睛真的很吸引
可是这都是回忆了
每当我想读书时
我就会打开这首音乐
可是现在听回
泪也不经意的流下
虽然知道必须振作
但我需要的是时间吧
可以的话
我都不想在
我的兄弟朋友面前滴下
不想他们担心
这几天
真的很谢谢你们的信息
谢谢你们尽力的弄我开心
谢谢陪我聊天读书至通宵
谢谢你们
谢谢佩静，你已经做得很好。

without her

在2009年的四月，在某次噢然之下，我重新认识了她，
那时的我因为喜欢的人有了伴侣而觉得沮丧，
也不懂为什么在电话簿里发现了她的电话号码，
其实我们真的很少联络，可是她们这班学弟学妹当中，
我就只有她的电话号码，很巧吧？我不由自主地开始传信息给他，
他真的很健谈，我们分享了很多，真的很谢谢她陪我度过了那段时间，
而我也因为如此，成功地把之前的她给忘记了。

可能是上天的安排，他突然间也有感情的问题，
我也不懂为什么十分想帮她解决问题，可能是惺惺相惜吧。
就这样我们晚上开始打了第一通电话，我们谈了很多很多。
回想起的确是真实的，慢慢的，我们的关系似乎越来越好，
我开始了暧昧的生活，双方不再寂寞。

2009年的五月，我乘搭火车到吉隆坡去找朋友，在路途中，
他问过我，她说她在家里很闷，想和我一起去，其实我也很想和她去，
但是看来她妈妈是不会允许的。在那短短的两个小时里，
我们很坦诚的说出双方的感觉，他问我为什么会爱上她，
我的脑海里只闪出感觉这两个字，的确我清楚知道我爱上了这女孩。

在那次的旅行中，我到了芙蓉去找聪少，那里是一个小市镇，
说有人都是用摩托，我朋友也是，他带我去兜风，
甚至到晚上也骑车到海边去，在摩托上，电话响了，
原来是她打来，她说她很担心我晚上坐摩托，那一刻的我，
像一个小男孩，傻傻的对她说不用担心，
而她也一样害羞的挂了电话，我真的很享受这种有人关心的感觉。

过后，在某个晚上，她终于说了一句话，
他希望我会主动和她表白，不想一直拖，
我也明了我真的是一个非常不浪漫的人，
喜欢一个人总是不主动和她说清楚，为了不要后悔，
我约了她第一次约会，我到女人街买了一条心形的手链，
准备送给她作为定情信物，到了约会第一天，帮她带时，
竟然弄断了，想起都觉得可笑。
不过最后都是唱了我自己的创作而感动了她。
在5月9日，我们正式的在一起了。

我们订了许多的承诺，可是在一起时，问题也慢慢的一点一点地呈现。
从想法到远距离，我们的确没有一个好的基础。
才开始没有一个月，我们一人在吉隆坡，另一人则在马六甲，
这样的远距离爱情是在对我们俩是一个重大的挑战。
开始的我们一直都认为，这一切是能够轻易地解决的，
但不难发现，这是一个大问题。

在我进入马大以后，生活不再停歇，
每一天的时间都以忙碌来填满，
吴润是戏剧到舞蹈甚至是课业上的所有活动都令我喘不过气来，
我开始没有办法花更多的时间在这段感情上了，
有时想起真的觉得自己很自私，没有对这段爱情付出过。
但是明白事理的她，从来没有偷书我没有时间陪她，
反而一直不停的默默支持我。我的却很感动，
因为好的女友真的不容易找，而上天很好的让它成为我的第一任女友。

但是，现实的确是现实，我是一个独生子，
从小爸妈都对我宠爱有加，当身边出现伴侣时，
妈妈都会特别留意，爸爸也对我说这的确会成为我这段感情的一大负担，
这一切我都很清楚，我知道妈妈的却不希望我在这个时候拍拖。
爸爸说的其实也没有错的，现在真的不是一个好时间，
佩静在攻读大学预科班，这是一个非常重要的一年，
因为这决定他大学和科系，同样的，
在大学我必须要专心和努力地完成我的学士学位，
我有一个自私的愿望，就是保持对她的感情，
在三年后加入假如我成功毕业，我会再次的她出这一步。

说到这里，其实今天是我们得分手日，
分手虽然痛苦，因为我觉得还是挺戏剧化的，
第一次从马大第八宿舍泪流满面，默默地走下山，
直到遇到了的士才黯然的手感我的眼泪，
也是第一翅觉得心里很不好受的伤心，
那种会令你不懂为何不由自主留下眼泪的感觉真的不好受，
佩静说我有点自私，但是我知道他和我都明白这自私到底是为什么。

如今，虽然我们已经不再是昔日的男女朋友，
但反而提供了一个自由的平台，让我们能够坦诚相对，
假如有人问我这样好吗？我的答案将会是，
这是我的选择，为了未来的选择。加油！陈佩静！

link

i heard she cry
in the middle of the night
i can't stand le
i also cry le..these days occur too many things
i know we both can't accept
i love you peggy
u also love me...but why?
everything is not the same...
i also dun know how...
what about now?
sorry sorry..
without everything
sleep le...

round point

兜兜转转
原来问题在我身上
最近经常埋怨
为什么他们能谈这么多
虽然一直很不看好他们这段爱情
甚至我讨厌看到他们打情骂俏
常和朋友投诉他们实在太过分
过马路听电话
开会前听电话
电话不离手
但是我呢？
原来我一直忽略了她
从信息到通电，
我都给他一种不甘愿
被逼的感觉
当她说这是你的问题
我真的是恍然大悟
原来问题一直在我身上
她说过我经常写网记时
都是不开心的
对，她说得对
她说她不介意
但不绝对感觉得到他很不开心
当我和朋友说话时
我会不传信息给他
因为觉得要对朋友尊重
但原来我已经失去对他的尊重了
我必须承认她说得对
原来一直只以为是的我
对朋友好过对女友
刚刚的无言
足以代表一切了。
半年了
你醒了吗？

donation drive^^

today wake up at 530
the car reach here at 645
i should be angry
but i didn't
also dun dare
initially think that many people
but reach there
just several people at bus stop
disappointed
then follow the marketing head car
reach the connaugt garden
finally know what is money hard to go
when people find me donate
i'll think of it
now i go find people donate
only know how suffer is the people who call people donate
haha
i get 127 dollar at last
got ten dollar is belongs to my cousin
i met her today
some more need to say
i'm the only first year who go this donation drive
haha
peggy say i like nothing to tell her in phone
i dun know why she feel that
but i am that kind of person in phone
need long time to create feeling to talk
but long time like that
i know she sure will think i purposely do that
well
everything can be fine with her
i got confidence
because her level of understanding is high!!!
hehe..

ya...more obstacles

yesterday go dinner with drama teachers at new paris
new paris..haha..i think wrongly
then many funny things occur
lol...no eye see
teachers say a lot jobs available
ask us want to act or not
especially when miss yumico ask us wanna
take short video for newway karaoke or not
the advertisement will be played at malaysia and also hong kong
gosh
tanent who always have star dream
listen hong kong only
eye also big bit
but keep quiet only
because really shy
i don't know how to say
then part time actor..
wah...my dream..
but i can't...
i knew it..
i have to walk my road
but how?
it's hard now...
when reach hostel, mei xin say one long sentence,
i don't know why you want to study business.
something that no need study also can
study is useless
learn nothing
after i listen to it...i feel dam speechless
i lost my determination
i really wanna reply
ya..you are right
gosh
then today my parents to kl..
i told them about acting thing
my mom just saying study well please
i know this is my path
but why i face moodless
why no courage to continue
why?
question marks is my emotion now.....

not well...weird body

until know
i not feeling well..
seems like body got a place got problem..
but i dun know where got problem..
just now message peggy
she say i recently really busy lots...
i start thinking
maybe i really always meeting
study group
accompany parents all that
i neglect her le
i didn't blame her for not understand me
because i know is my problem
just now she say she got private thing to busy..
i dun know is real or not..
but i choose to trust her
we say before we will not lie each other..
i believe she won't...
but i also thinking is it she also wanna let me know
when your couple busy what is your feeling..
anyway..
hope o it is not a big deal...
btw...
body ah body..can u tell u tell me what happen to u
i really feel u are weird
headache
bit dizzy all that
seems like abnormal..
god..please bless me
i hope i'll be ok....
thank god..
amitaoba..

lost of direction...

this time really "cham cham cham" lo...
what i want?
tell me tell me!!!!
tanent, you are useless..
i really dun want people to worry me
i dun like wat i study now
i just want to have activity
have performance
have fun
enjoy
but everyone also want ah..
who don't want?
u study so hard since primary
just wanna enter um get an degree
now u say u want to give up?
but why?
i;m that kind of person
easily affected
listen something will change mind dam easy
mei xin say study business is useless
business is something no need study
is she right?
i dun know
but my mind already get the signal
and say ya she is right
i am like that
from that day i come um
i join this drama
i don't know is correct or not
now i got great interest in acting
but seems like i lost interest in study
i open the book i will ask
are u sure u want to study?
but peggy say something to me
i keep advising her to study well
important to get good result
to get get good uni
but she ask me back
why i never think of myself
do you study before?
ask yourself...
activity drama all that
u spend how much time?
now u say u can't cope with study
it's your own fault
u can't handle your study
why u want to join so much?
never think before?
never think rationally?
just think for fun?
tanent, u need to clarify
what you want?
dun simply give up,
must study and continue till the last moment
i know u are going to give up
but i hope u really won't..
now is who talking to who..
i also dun know..
god...give me some hint