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Friday, April 30, 2010

我乱想

我正在乱想

你们就当我再发疯吧!!

我很想哭

我真的很想哭

我很想拥有一切可以吗?

我要有上千万的朋友

我不想我身边任何一个朋友不开心

我想要有一个伴

只希望有人可以关心我

我知道这一切我都有了

我有朋友

我有很好的父母

我在马来西亚的第一大学

我读着将来掌控世界的课程

我演过戏

我主持过

我唱过歌

我没有金钱上的烦恼

我被看上成为主席

一切我都有了!!!

成绩虽然我并不是最好

但是我还在3.0

我很开心与满足了

可是

我还是想不开

我觉得不满足

有人明白我的感受吗?

我有时会假扮有人跟我说话

我总觉得孤独

我无时无刻

都觉一种陌生的安全感渐渐消失

我真的很辛苦啊!!

我想喊了!!

我觉得我根本不正常

有时根本不能控制自己

我最会的就只是掩饰

这个世界

那么的大

我的思想

比起一个小单位都不如

狭窄!!!!

妒忌是我的专长

吃醋是我的长处

我不能顶了

我根本是一个惹人讨厌的人

找个人来骂醒我

我到底是不是有问题?

哭吧。。

添能

就当是发泄





Thursday, April 29, 2010

要懂

终于学会演员守则

欺骗自己

自然你就能演成别人

没有人会懂

你真正的感受

因为你已经成功欺骗自己

好让自己与别人好过一点。。。

ok..

ok ah..

no big deal..

satisfy

satisfy satisfy

hehe

good feeling

well,

ok for me...

right?

this is call life

life must satisfy

if not

at last

don't neglect urself

urm..

whatever..

just stop..

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

scare

i start to worry

i start to scare

i start to know the meaning of heart pump fast

i start to know what is nervous

i start to face problem

i start to learn

i start to think

i start to manage stress

i really scare`~~

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

refer to article fatty

wakakkka

to all my follower for blog

i write this not saying that my fren beside me say me like crown

but is just now think of something about human

just thinking

many type of human in this world

just thinking

when i go out for work

maybe people will treat me like that

just wanna say can't expect everyone also have good opinion on me de..

肥仔

大家好

我就是那个

肥仔
添能

也有人叫我肥佬

甚至肥亥!!

哈哈!!

乐天派?

搞笑一族?

演技派?

偶像路线?


哈哈。。

我不配~~

说真的

我真的有够吵

我自己说服自己

我是最好的

就算别人不能顶

我还是

继续

扮演着小丑的角色

被人取笑

说真的

我很丑可是我很搞笑

是吗?

我一直都知道

与觉得

身边有人在讨厌我

甚至我就是他们

恶骂

讽刺

的好对象

但是一切我都已习惯

我在做我自己

是时候改变时

我自然会改

但是

这肥仔

很孤单

有人懂?

算了吧。。

Monday, April 26, 2010

突然在这夜晚

我在夜空下想了一个问题

到底夜晚对我的定义是什么?

二十年

我经历过二十年的夜晚

我第一次看这个夜晚的感觉到底是怎样的呢?

浪漫?

宁静?

可是今晚我觉得

夜晚很空

心放空

脑放空

一切犹如水滴




肩膀湿了

绿茶的蒸馏水

滴湿了我的肩膀




以前这湿了的肩膀

会不会

是我爸?

是我妈?

因为那是我的泪

说不定就是在同一个夜晚留下的。。。

Thursday, April 22, 2010

marketing test

study whole night

reading

memorizing

marketing

my favourite subject for this semester

but instead i dun know what have i write for the exam

but i am satisfy because i finished it

and i know the road still far..

can't stop..

move on is important。。

Monday, April 19, 2010

i don't want but i can't

final exam

now seems like take away all all enthusiasm i have throughout my life

i can't even concentrate

at surface
seems like study very fast

but i know

i totally didn't put anything in my mind

my backbone is pain

bring too much

i must release something

but i can't

how?

whatever..

Sunday, April 18, 2010

my 8 hungga

eight college is also my memory..
but sincerely i dun know why it's not deep...
maybe because i too active in activities outside...
but when the first time i feel warm in eight college is during pesta angpao..
that is the first time i take initiative to know the chinese in eight college....
another sweet thing is my family..
i love my moms..shin tian and crytal...
well, they treat me really good...
when i first first enter uni..
at ptum being an actor..
u all r the one stay until the end of the show to support me..
thanks a lot..
i appreciate the present for birthday and farewell..
shin tian u put a lot of effort..i still hoping for the bird park trip~~~
well, another thing is the know of two brothers and also two old sister...
the two brothers are eddy lim and alex yap,
we experience a lot together..i really miss them...
the two old sister is esther and also shu fen, this two girls are nice...
i still rmemeber we go to have movie and we always yam cha at mamak...
then choir...
a team that i never regret to join...
the senior is nice..really...
we have a good pianist david
a good conductor ming tat
and good team-mate
we success to make it at ranking of five..
i am proud of u all..
another unforgettable memory
modern dance..
in my life,
first time i dance,
on the stage.
i can hear claps from the audience
thanks a lot..
thank u teacher
u r nice kchin...
still remember during choir camp,
i follow seniors to melaka
second time to this cute region...
i enjoy the countdown period with them...
maybe
i really will shift to other college
at next semester
i just wanna say
i really love u all
eight college buddies
but
i have my own problems...
i am sorry..
and i will miss u all...
sob sob...
kinabalu hungga
kinabalu kojiasir...

importance of gang

university malaya

a place where i build up some gang

at faculty, qiao qiao family

at nineth college

i dun know am i certified?? ( jw2 )

then another crazy gang ( ss club )

i start asking myself...

do i know the importance of these gang?

thanks god...

being alone come from sungai siput to kuala lumpur

they care me a lot


qiao family

help me a lot in study..

my great partner in business club

who knows is my business partner in future?

my birthday~~ touching t.t


ss club

a very nice and crazy club

active during intake

jointly between my dear matrix buddies and um buddies..

nice~~ thz for u all

i still rememebr the countdown day we spend..


jw2

recently only sendiri push myself masuk

tanpa permission

luckily not kena kick out

they all nice

go out with them will laugh till my teeth pain

wakakakakkakakaakakkaka

wkakaka list, red lantern...they will understand...


life at um..

one year have passed

flash back

first day

walking to college counter

then now

already senior

already twenty

drinking yakult ace light..

my tears are running down...

thx for the great year..

i like it

happy~~~

i love u all




Friday, April 16, 2010

my situation

您的身体质量指数(BMI)为 26.2

身体质量指数(BMI):评估体重与身高比例的常用工具,适用范围:18至65岁的人士。
儿童、发育中的青少年、孕妇、乳母、老人及身型健硕的运动员除外。
成年人身体质量指数
轻体重BMI 健康体重BMI 超重BMI 肥胖BMI
BMI<18.5 18.5≤BMI<24 24≤BMI<28 28≤BMI

• 您的健康体重范围为 60~78 KG

• 您的年龄身高对应标准体重为 64 KG(1KG=2斤)

• 您的基础代谢率为 1894 大卡

基础代谢率(BMR):在安静状态下(通常为静卧状态)消耗的最低热量。

• 您的中低强度运动心率是 120 次/分钟到 160 次/分钟

人体要燃烧脂肪,需要满足三个必要条件:
1、该运动要达到中低强度的运动心率;
2、这种中低强度运动心率的运动要持续20分钟以上;
3、这种运动必须是大肌肉群的运动,如慢跑、游泳、健身操等。
低于或高于这个范围,都不算中低强度运动心率,燃烧的也就不是脂肪了~

history

5.3.2006
6.9.2005
8.8.2000
6.4.1990

these dates not really meaningful
it maybe my birthday
maybe ur birthday
and all these history
passed
can't even catch back
nobody can go there and chnage what have happened
well
my feeling is strong towards history
last time i hate history so much
but recently taking history course
i start to flash back
something going on during my ancestor time
who knows..
my grandma and granpa love story maybe very romantic..
during war,
although people all live in suffer
but still there's some story going on..
maybe is sad story
but also can be touch story
today
16.4.2010
after twelve tonight
everything will over
the time i spent will become bubbles
spreading in the air
now i imagining
ten years later
16.4.2020
the wawasan year
will i still sitting at the same place still wrting blog?
that time is it with family?
with my job?
my wife?
maybe my children
it's all probability
and i waiting for it
working out now..
add oil
add fire burn for futture!!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

happy

rupa-rupanya
afterstudy group de feel is like that de
i am thnking
why sudenly i feel my brain not that heavy jor
maybe sudy group more or less also will help bit
just depends the percentage that being absorbed
dun know why suddenly imagine something funny
haha
i imagine
when neo and raymond marry
they will one family with three to four kids
go cameron play
feel it's a good sign
hope so really happen to them le
i leave nineth jor
that wayne dun know will forget this forget that or not
wakaka
butthis time i forget my jeans
manfred,dun lelong it ah..

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

没时间

想说
没时间是什么呢?
时间可以是开心的
像一大帮人聚在一起
非常高兴
想只是一块面包在饿时
非常开心
就算突然听到一首自己很喜欢的歌
也会非常开心
其实我真的非常容易开心
我必须承认
我只是有了一种奇怪的特质
就是
在开心中
可以因为某些事而难过
但是
朋友兄弟的一扶
已经足够让我挨过去。

Friday, April 9, 2010

妒( 自创曲)

又见到你
我原来不想再看到你
因为看到
而觉得更加辛苦

说不想见
其实见不到心会更痒
所以想见
就算觉得更加辛苦

然而说呀说呀
看见一些不想见
脑里发出问好
心里流着酸液

原来爱情可以那么的讨厌
可以令人快乐
也可以令人垂涎
以为只有这一切

可是爱情也能够
可以令人伤心
可以令人疲惫
所以才令人吃不消这爱情的边缘

因为当你在爱
不知不觉妒嫉
不知不觉不受控制
爱情就是容易嫉妒

Thursday, April 8, 2010

没人会明白

当你觉得连你自己也不明白你自己在想什么
那你觉得别人会懂吗?
这就是杨添能
一个不懂自己的人
早上起来
他不懂他今天要做的是什么
看看电脑
你有不懂在想什么
有时
突然对着电脑发呆
一发就不可收拾
几小时过后
他又会问自己
你到底在想什么
他真的以为
他在放空的那一刻
世界也在停止转动吗?
他以为
发呆
什么都不想就是解决问题吗?
我真的很怀疑
一个不能控制自己的情绪
一个不能令自己真正快乐的人
一个连自己想要什么也讲不出
一个很会胡思乱想然后往往没有结果的人
大学生
他配吗?
马大是他该进的地方吗?
这时候他又在问自己
答案?
他根本不回答
因为他已经失去方向
很迷糊
更加不懂接下来他该做些什么
颓废
也许就是给他最好的解决方法
只是恐怕他连颓废也省起来
那就是无可救药
慢慢地在在悬崖之间徘徊
继续放空
飘呀飘。。。。。。。。。。。。

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

乱写一通

今晚会写很多很多的废话
人哦
真的是很难明白
我们永远都不会了解
一个人在想什么
可是偏偏有一个人
他能哦
我一直在想很多东西
想啊想
可是根本没有结果啊
我喜欢刚刚的谈话
摊开来讲
大家都有各自的难题
无论是感情
还是友情
还是任何事情
原来不是每件事都有解决方法的
我在想是我太天真吗?
还是我太执着?
我希望是我想太多
我们不能以自己的观点去评论别人在讲什么
认同?
如果是这样的话,
那是不是说我们要跟着别人的方式做人呢?
我希望有个人的立场
也希望每个人同意和随从我的立场
但是一切都是自私的
一些人
一些对象
总是会被看低
为什么世界就是有比较?
就是因为比较
就会有弱者
也因为这样
人变得不太高兴
这样好吗?
我很压力
这是我不能掩饰的点
可是我也很想知道事情的真相
我相信知道真相才能有所进步
我们绝对不能原地踏步
但是
我讨厌矛盾的自己
知道了一切
又要自己烦
我并不是犯贱
而是我真的想不开
每一件事
每一个人都对我非常重要
所以我非常重视每个人对我的意见和想法
我并不是固执
而是我真的不想
又被讨厌的一天
我愿意改变
变得更美好
但是这么多年以来
我有做过什么改变?
有时我觉得自己
真的是太天真
把事情以为得过分简单
可能我真的还没遇过真正的黑暗
唯有黑暗
能够令人成长
但试问又有几个人愿意把自己放进黑暗里受苦呢?
人是自私的
不要给我任何的理由
推掉这个论点
因为
我也是人
但是自私要有个顶点
当你过分自私就会变成人生的负担
永远抬不起头轻轻松松的看看这个美丽的世界
因为世界的天空
陆地
海洋
山丘
树林
这一切都会是你潜意识里的自己
先停止自私吗?
问问自己,
任何事能完完全全的放开?
睡觉时?
对不起,
我活了20年,从来都不懂什么是放开
因为我一直看不开
有时
看见人们拥有爱情
自己也想拥有这一切
但是
往往这就是错误的开始
一波有一波的伤害将不断上映
最后演变成一段可怜,伤心与破碎
著称悲剧..
无论是男人还是女人
不要以为爱情就是一场不能没有的游戏
当你拥有这一切
你要知道
到底你要的模式是什麽
因为没了规划
等于没了灵魂
那一段将会是木头式的爱情
不会有火花
不会有感觉
到最后以责任为收场
这样好吗?
人们都有朋友,
但是你们珍惜过吗?
当你的朋友在紧张时,
你是否也替他紧张?
永远希望支持他
鼓励他
友情永固四个字。。
这个世纪还在吗?
我不懂
也不要去懂。。
为什么人类不能再简单一点呢?
是因为环境的影响吗?
还是人类本来就是如何
有脑跟没脑的分别是什么?
就是
想。。
所以我们根本不能控制一切
但是思想完全由你而起
你不控制难道等我吗?
我们永远不懂下一秒会发生什么是
但是我们懂珍惜
身边一切
想一想
是时候去关心
默默的祝福自己。。。

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

qiao family birthday party

from yesterday
i already start to observe what they all wanna do this time
but i ddin't put high expectation
because qiao family one year long...
no big celebration also..
haha..
i just know zi ping and boo already told me will prepare present for me..
well..i just wait
until this afternoon..
only i know..
where to go to celebrate..
ahahha..
tht helen and janelle lie me
saying that going back home..
luckily boo tell me they back tomorrow morning train
afterkm
straight away
move on to mid valley
red box karaoke
but reach there too early..
so we go down and have a walk first
thx ah high for buying the aloe vera drink i love the most!!
we sing a lot of nice song today
can sing qiao family realy happy
especially those songs that i only sing myself
zi ping will know everything and lead me..
ahahaha
then the day climak comes when i go o toilet
when i back room
only left zi ping in the room
he said that helen call us go to next room
and i just follow only..
they sing the disco version happy birthday for me( thanks)
after sing,
they start to sing another song..
fen xiang..
a touch song
then they pass the present to me
ladies and gentlemen
a meaningful and with effort de folio..
the front several pages( photo about the whole year we experience)
then the behind part..is all those wrods and explanantion...
thanks a lot wayne wayne, your effort to do this really make me happy
ifirst time receive present will cry
i start tot hink
when a people do a very special thing for u..
it's really touch^^
and finally i ended up the gift session with a flow of teardrops..

子彬-你不是普通朋友, 你是我的兄弟,我的好朋友,
一份礼物的珍贵,真的只关于心, 我第一眼看到你为我准备的礼物
感动兼感恩,以后什么事都会和你一起顶哦, 你也要加油。

sheen chan- 说真的,我会做回自己, 随时面对新的挑战, 经常使用比较适合的字眼,哈哈, 你的句子都蛮有意思的

bing wei-我知道很多人在支持我,失败,我可以再接再力,你也一样咯,哈哈,你也要黑皮(HAPPY IS IT?)

high-they 放心,哈哈。。。bff, 我会减肥的啦…………我永远都不会忘记, 你与我的那一个, high 5。。哈哈,让我在fpp, 认识你,也让我的朋友,越来越多。。

kong gee- u are actually can sing de..very nice..hhaahha..i like the way u write with the plenty language of happy birthday for me^^。。。有心有心。。

helen- when i doing work..i really very serious and concentrate
may can't follow the situation thoroughly. yes,i admit, being this post, i really stress, but u all selalu help me, i also ok bit..hahah..hope that u can accept my 神经质。。

jNELLE: HAHA..你整天都说我很会present, 哈哈,又开心到。希望你能把 燃烧吧, 这首歌记起来,哈哈,特别为你而唱的。。。wakkakaka..

booboo: thx a lot lot miss jia jia(shh)..hope u understsnd^^....u want me be happy, then it's ur responsibility to keep me happy lo..

li fong- 你好多希望哦,哈哈,真的全部都能实现?减肥那个,先达到可以吗?哈哈, 这一年我带给你的欢乐,就当是换你给我的希望啦。


MING KHAI- lol, wei i really not sarawak zai..but u wanna call also can de..at least i do something that u remember till now...u stay cool la...hahaha..the oxygen thing i forget d loo...wakakakakakkaka...thx little blacky for saying that i am the best.
ss:

SS: HAHAHA..FLASH BACK ABOUT LAST TIME..till now, i really dun know ur surname is yang,same as me wo. lol..anyway u ah...hehehe...my weak part got target to speak...also have to thanks u de^^ thanks ya...u r a nice girl..god bless through ah hai, we know each other.

mickey: lol..我们真的很巧很巧,一年里面,我参什么你就参什么,哈哈, 最记得pt,都没有约在一起,去到那边见到你是惊讶到,哈哈,又一起上课哦,就哈哈,跟我相处,你不觉闷那就好,哈哈。谢谢你的桃花运旺!!

manfred: thanks for ur carfield^^

I CAN KNOW THIS GANG OF FRIEND IS MY LUCKY... THANK GOD FOR SENDING THEM TO ME..THANK GOD, WHEN I AM UNHAPPY, THEY ARE ALWAYS ON MY SIDE, THANK GOD, U GIVE A GANG FREN THAT LOVE ME SO MUCH. 谢谢你们,这个生日毕生难忘,给你们的润滑剂,就当是一个意头,寓意顺顺利利,娇家族,友情永固,一个鞠躬,还有我留的眼泪, 都是我爱的你们的象征。

谢谢大家,sarangheyo!!!

Monday, April 5, 2010

birthday( the night before)

this night...
i really very happy..
although i know that neo they all will come to celebrate with me..
i still very happy...
i like the warmness and the sweet feeling from them...
ss club yeah^^
but unexpected...
my notty boy didn't follow them
sincerely
i wish that one day we all can have fun together again
instead of now this situation...
he suddenly call me...
and i walk to the ping pong room...
he give me a birthday present
the present make me feel that
there is a brother really appreciate me
although our friendship is just around two years...
he is a nice guy..
and i hope he can achieve what he want
i know that he always thinking to achieve something..
although i dun know how..
just give him blessing against my birthday this year..
one hour later...
kin seng and chun loo
come and find me in my room
this two cute guy is my gang during orientation week
we play badminton before
i got think that we will become one gang at 8 college
but becaus ei too active in all those activities
we start to be not close...
their appear yesterday night
enough to make me feel that
friendship is not calculating the time we spend together
but is the heart u have on each other..
i appreciate that..
and hope this two desperate guys can fast fast get a gf..leng leng de^^
finally...
ss club member coming...
hahaha... suddenly alex knock my room door...
i know sure got somebody find me..so i hide inside..
alex didn't see me..
and act wanna leave..
when i wanna walk out..
suddenly see ah high wo...
lol...this guy really surprise me..
but i know they will come de la..
just i really no idea
what they want to do...
hahahha..
well as the same as matrix
they give me a strike in heart
before they give me happiness..
a simple cake...( actually already happy)
hahaha..then they keep on playing on me
well..fine..
because same as what neo they all have done on me last year..hahaha
finally..they say wanna leave...
so i just follow alex back room..suddenly..
yan fang and jeremy come out la!!!!
ahahahah...this is the climax of the story la...so touch...
same idea...
but give me same touch moment..
i sincerely wish to hug they all yesterday night but...ahahahah..
because of certain reason,...
this is inappropriate..
this is a fruit cake~~
i really like fruit cake very much..
and it's big..
then we have a bite candle session
a candle burning when i hold the candle using my mouth
is it fear factor challenge? ahahaha
once again..
all this arrangement really give me a very touch moment
i already have my wishes..
my wishes is include all people..
dun worry...
disgusting part now...
hai, neo, raymond, alex, lee yuen, kim kim, yan fang, qi en, jeremy ( u all acc gang..muaks^^)and also ss club^^

明白。感受

第一次
感觉不错
但是有一种讲不出的奇怪
我有点不习惯
在这样多人的情况下说话
但我停下
众人目光就会往我身上注射
其实
我觉得
讲话真的很重要
给讯息更加困难
不要以为他们明白
而且
必须要顾及大家的感受
我犯了
不太聆听的错误
反应不来也是,
总之这条路要走就必须进步
必须明白
和去感受